Do you know what I’m tired of hearing?
You are so quiet.
You need to break out of your shell.
When I first met you, I thought you were so stuck up.
If you are an introvert like myself, you’ve probably had these phrases hurled at you your entire life.
It’s no wonder we struggle to embrace being an introvert.
Undoubtedly, we live in an extroverted world. Introverts have an inward mindset, which is why we struggle in a world that is always engaged, active, and noisy.
When introverts attempt to fit into an extroverted world, they suppress their introverted tendencies and mimic those of an extrovert.
Let me just say, God created introverts, too.
It is time to stop living your life as if something is wrong with you. Embrace being an introvert—and all your quiet, thoughtful, and reserved splendor.
So let’s get down to it.
Don’t Hide Behind the Introvert Mask
An introvert gathers their energy from spending time alone as opposed to group interactions.
Simple enough, right?
Yet, introversion is one of the most misunderstood personality traits.
For instance, Merriam-Webster defines introversion as the state of or tendency toward being wholly or predominantly concerned with and interested in one’s own mental life.
Better yet, Cambridge refers to introversion as the quality of being shy and quiet, and preferring to spend time alone rather than often being with other people.
With these definitions, no wonder people assume introverts have no social skills, hate being around other people, and only care about themselves.
Nothing can be further from the truth.
As humans, we all have an inherent need to belong—it gives us a sense of purpose. But if not carefully managed, our need to belong can also be a stumbling block.
Never allow these definitions or someone else’s opinions of introverts to deter you from embracing your introversion and dictate how you live your life.
And while introverts may have these traits, it is not as black and white. Introversion lies on a spectrum; so, you may be mostly introverted, but also have extroverted tendencies.
According to Carl Jung, the psychologist behind the introvert and extrovert theories, anyone who is a pure introvert or extrovert would be in the lunatic asylum.
Yes, many describe introverts as being shy, antisocial, and reserved.
But an introvert can be friendly, talkative, and bold—words often used to describe an extrovert.
Build Your Extroverted Muscles
While you should never base your life on your introverted tendencies, never pretend to be an extrovert either.
First off, if you’re pretending to be an extrovert, it means you are insecure about your introversion and cannot accept yourself.
To top it off, mimicking the qualities of an extrovert doesn’t come naturally for introverts, so they usually overexert themselves and become discouraged, anxious, or restless.
One of the best ways to embrace being an introvert is by strengthening your extrovert muscles.
That’s right.
Bear with me, because I’m going to show you.
An introverted creative writer—dreaming of sharing her stories with others—may assume she’s not outgoing, talkative, or bold enough to succeed.
A networking event where she has to meet and greet with everyone can be overstimulating. However, a group event where she speaks with a handful of people is a safe place for her to develop her skills.
As I mentioned before, no one is purely introverted or extroverted. It’s just you may lean more to one side. It’s not so much about pretending to be extroverted, but more about developing a skill-set.
You don’t have to hide in the background, but you can shine without being the center of attention.
The bottom line is that building your extroverted muscles is personal growth and not a superficial attempt to fit in with a specific social group.
Nurture Your Introvert Strengths
Society often labels introverts as quiet, self-absorbed loners.
Nothing can be further from the truth.
Unfortunately, many introverts not only accept these labels, but they focus on them until they hinder their personal growth.
For instance, a manager may inform an introvert they are too quiet and should speak up more at their team meetings.
I know the feeling.
One of my old bosses jokingly called me the silent partner because I rarely uttered a word during our team meetings.
It never offended me. I usually stay silent for one of two reasons—another team member mentioned my idea, or I had nothing to add.
While an extrovert thinks out loud, an introvert reviews the details internally and only speaks after they’ve carefully processed their thoughts.
Introverts are careful thinkers, great listeners, and natural observers. We process our thoughts before we talk, and if we have nothing to suggest, we don’t speak for the sake of speaking.
Embrace being an introvert, don’t treat your introversion as a weakness.
If it takes extra time for you to process your thoughts, consider it an asset to your team. Because you prepared, your ideas will be sharp, effective, and powerful.
Establish and Preserve Your Boundaries
Too much social interaction can lead to burnout, especially if you’re not fond of the activity.
Since introverts are empathic by nature, they usually have a tough time setting boundaries, so they end up in toxic relationships or activities that drain their energy.
Where you fall on the introvert scale determines how much socializing you can handle.
Determine what activities exhaust you, so you can set boundaries to protect your energy.
I genuinely love spending time with my family and could talk to them for hours. But to protect my energy, I would need to excuse myself early or pass on the activities for the next day.
Now, I could engage in another social activity without recharging, but I would operate on empty. Besides, I’m no fun to hang out with when my energy level is too low.
Telling your family, friends, coworkers, or business partners you do not want to attend a social event doesn’t make you antisocial, selfish, or dull.
The simple truth is preserving your boundaries is a way to embrace being an introvert.
Stop Feeling Guilty for Wanting Alone Time
Regardless of how many introverted characteristics you have, the one common attribute amongst any introvert is their need to rejuvenate.
The need to recharge is the reason introverts isolate themselves from the outer world and step into their inner world.
If we were to stay in the outer world and neglect our inner world, we wouldn’t be able to get to our thoughts and would go insane.
Now, the recharging activities will vary according to the intensity of the social event and your introversion level.
So whether you prefer to explore the town or hibernate in your room, the important thing is to make time to recharge.
Final Note
If you are an introvert, don’t allow your introverted qualities, a textbook definition, or someone else’s standards to define who you are.
Are you ready to embrace being an introvert?
